So I used to drive a Ford Focus bk in March of 2009...
IT WAS
TOTALED....
June 18th...Another...but I wasn't in a car...i was actually talking to my aunt...she was in her car parked behind mine, and I was leaning in to talk to her through the window...when a car was driving south bound...and rear ended her parked car....The speed of tht car was at least 50...and when he hit my aunts car...it caused her to rear end my car which was parked in front of her....not only did my New Nissan Sentra 08 get damaged...but myself personaly i suffered by far more injuries then my car...
I flew back about 10 feet....my face hit the cement pole..only barely did it graze my face....it could of been worse i know..i could of died....I couldn't stand still, nor could i stan the pain of my arms and body, my face felt like i had just hit it with a hammer a few times as it pounded over and over....to move my body was a chore...and blood was dripping from my mouth like clockwork. I bit the hell out of my lip...i had the imprint of my tooth on my lip for over a week, though my lip has somewhat healed.... I still have my teeth to fix...since 2 were chipped....one more noticeable then another.....the pain i feel all over my body is consistent and comes stronger at times then others....when it isnt one thing...it is another...driving is now a hard task due to my paranoia....i see a car and if it looks like its coming my way i flinch and move the wheel a bit....it shouldnt be this way....
There is this loneliness i feel in my life....When I got in my first accident....i felt abandonment...my SO at the time left me alone only 3 days after my first accident and yes i saw it going downhill but i wasnt one to give up on things....even as bad things were and the challenges i was faced to endure...i didnt want to give up on what i felt was my future and life....i guess he didnt see it the same way...and thts ok....live and learn
but now here i am again...and i keep thinking to myself how I cheated death yet again....And All i want is to spend the time i have here with the one tht i feel completes me....and i dont even think i exist for him anymore. I am not even a blip on his radar.....from being the girl tht was his all....i became a girl tht is a stranger...
How do boys do that? How can a male discard the feelings he once felt for a girl...? I feel like i was never anything....
There is currently a few males in my life tht are making life pass by....keeping me company and loving me for who i am...but u know...us girls tend to be abit dumb and want wht we cant have....though i love them...i dont want to be involved....cuzz i simply think...right now...there is no point....all ur gonna do is hurt me anyway...ur gonna lie, cheat, abandon me....
or...I will screw it over somehow cuz i am far from being the perfect person....i have my weak moments to and sometimes temptation gets the best of me
I want to be loved and cared for....
the 3 P's
Profess,Protect, Provide
tell me u love me
keep me safe
and suport me with ur kindness, wisdom and love
When do I want it?
I dont know...cuz I dont know How ready I am o be involved...i fear being screwed over...and i fear screwing tht person over because i am still not over my ex....mostly because a part of me still hopes tht one day Love will find a way...but mostly because i am just enjoying being on my own....and doing whatever i want with whoever i want and not having limits as far the ppl i can hang out with.....
I Love My life...but the accidents i have endured.....make me wish i was spending every free moment i have with the one tht i thought was my future....someday I'll be someones first Choice....till then...i guess i continue on with what other accidents life throws at me....
Its those accidents tht help me see those that are there for me when things get tough....
For example when my mother was in the hospital, when my accident happened, and just the awareness that u have in my life....shows that u care...
Comments (1)
i hope you are alright =[
i actually got in a car accident last month too! i stress about it every night [i have to replace the bitches bumber----that had no insurance]